Motherhood

1 Year as a Mother: 12 Months and 12 Learnings

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Becoming a mother is a life-altering journey filled with profound growth, joy, and challenges. As we celebrated my son’s first birthday, my heart swelled with overwhelming emotions, and I found myself reflecting on the transformative journey we had taken together. It was indeed special and emotional, the 12 months of invaluable learnings that shaped me along the way. Month 1: The Power of Patience Motherhood is a potpourri of emotions: excitement, fear, pain, joy, exhaustion, anxiety of the unknown, bewilderment, denial, love, and acceptance. Diaper changes felt like a never-ending saga but they served as a crash course in learning the art of patience, proving that even sleep-deprived me could find the Zen within.Every adversity is an opportunity for personal development. Month 2: Embracing Imperfection It’s ok if the house was messy.It’s ok if laundry was undone and dishes stayed a little longer.It’s ok if a fancy outing turned into a fashionable parade of baby spit-ups or if burp clothes become a new fashion accessory.The realization that perfection is an unattainable standard led to the embracing of imperfections as a mother. It allowed a focus on providing genuine love and care to my child. Month 3: The Importance of Self-Care Taking care of self became non-negotiable. In the whirlwind of new motherhood, learning that taking care of myself is not selfish but essential. It was an ultimate reminder that a happy mama means a happier baby! Month 4: Trusting Your Instincts Lost amidst a sea of advice, I discovered my inner baby. My quirky dance moves turned out to be the secret formula for soothing even the fussiest of times. I realized that my own instincts were the true choreographers of comfort. Month 5: Finding a Support System Crisis hotline? No, just me and fellow sleep-deprived moms sharing survival tactics over the phone at 3 AM. It takes a village, or at least a tired chat group. Realizing that you don’t have to do it alone can change the experience of motherhood and take the stress off. Month 6: Celebrating Milestones, Big and Small On the day my child took their first taste of solid food, it was like witnessing a Michelin-star chef’s masterpiece. My kitchen transformed into a culinary wonderland of messy delight and each mealtime turned into a joyful exploration of flavors, creating a palette of memories. Month 7: Flexibility and Adaptability In a plot twist that only a baby could orchestrate, our little one surprised us by both following a sleep routine and also suddenly becoming the world’s tiniest food critic, rejecting yesterday’s favorite puree as if it were a three-star restaurant’s offering.This month taught me that motherhood is a wild ride where adaptability is the golden ticket. Month 8: The Joy of Play In a hilariously dramatic showdown of who can stack the most blocks, I set out to create the tallest tower, only to have my baby expertly tumble it down, leaving us both in fits of laughter. It bought me the realization that playtime was more about laughter than winning. Month 9: Balancing Work and Motherhood Zoom meetings turned into a hilarious juggling act of muted mics and baby babble. My home office evolved into a creative fusion of work and a whimsical nursery rhyme, reminding me that being a working mom is a true marvel in its own way. Month 10: Cherishing the Present Time is a thief and fleeting in nature. As my to-do list multiplied, my baby’s fascination with simple things like silicone spatulas or empty water bottles reminded me that life’s most precious moments often hide in the ordinary. Month 11: Embracing Growth and Change As my little one’s separation anxiety started accelerating, they developed a sudden fondness for being my sidekick 24/7. I discovered a new level of multitasking: mastering the art of doing everything one-handed while nurturing an adorable “cling-on”. Month 12: Unconditional Love In the midst of cake-fueled chaos at the first birthday, my heart swelled with an emotion so profound that it could only be described as feeling like a thousand hugs at once. The culmination of the first year as a mother brought forth a profound understanding of unconditional love. Through all the ups and downs, the love for your child remains unwavering, illuminating the true essence of motherhood. As we celebrated his first birthday, I couldn’t help but marvel at the beautiful soul my baby was, with their innocence, curiosity, and capacity for love. And in those tender moments of celebration, I realized that this love was a two-way street. My baby’s eyes would light up at the sight of me, their tiny hands reaching out to touch my face, and I knew that this bond was equally cherished by my little one. Motherhood had changed me in ways I could never have anticipated. I realized that this journey was not just about nurturing and guiding my child but about my own growth and transformation as a mother. It had taught me to be patient, compassionate, and selfless. It had shown me the immense strength that resided within me, as I faced challenges head-on with a heart full of love. In these twelve months, I understood that being a mother meant embracing every moment, both the beautiful and the challenging, with open arms and an open heart. It meant loving my baby with all my being and knowing that this love was the foundation upon which our journey would continue to grow.

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Coping with Postpartum Depression: Strategies for New Moms

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“Do you experience feeling sad or down lately?” – was a familiar question at any doctor’s office for the first few weeks after birth. However, at 2 months postpartum (pp), when I was asked this question at my pediatrician’s office, it didn’t feel like rhetoric. I wanted to say YES. I was apprehensive, and reluctant, withdrew, and said NO. Postpartum depression is real. I had a slightly traumatic birth experience, and recovery was hard. I had an epidural administered twice, pushed for 6 hours, however, the epidural was discontinued during birth – lightly put, this was just the beginning. I am not going to go into the gloomy details of it, nor do I want to want to relive it, because, at the end of it, I had a beautiful baby boy. The reason for PPD is never fully understood. Some say it could be hormones, some say it could be a past trauma, and some completely dismiss it. Nonetheless, I am not trying to make a case for or speculate if PPD is real, and neither am I going to describe the gory details of my labor. Instead, I want to focus on how to empower oneself if faced with this situation. Like how every pregnancy is unique or every child is unique, so is every woman’s postpartum and recovery. Each woman’s experience is different, her healing and her recovery strategy. Instead of this post being a singular experience, I reached out to a few moms to share their experiences. The question asked was “Did you experience postpartum depression? If yes, how did you overcome it?”. I am not an expert in this field, but hey! Here are my 2 cents to support any new mom. Educate yourself In combating PPD educating oneself on the difference between baby blue and depression is critical. During pregnancy, I discussed with my husband the possible sadness and mood swings that I might experience during postpartum and how he can support me. I asked him to avoid dismissive language like “Calm down” or “try to relax” when I was already agitated. This preparation can lead to a more supportive and aware environment. I had the slightest form of PPD. However I was able to overcome it quickly. After the baby is born, hormones can be all over the place for new moms. I found myself constantly crying for no reason. I was aware of PPD and signs and symptoms. I had a discussion with my family members and told them how I was feeling. My grandmother who can be staying with me during that time took a great effort to make sure I was feeling ok. She supported me all ways – breastfeeding, taking care of the baby, cooking yummy and healthy food. She insisted that I pump and bottle feed so that I can get some rest. For me, the feeling of prioritizing new mom along with the baby helped me get over it quickly. This couldn’t have been possible without supportive family members.– New Mom 1 Take care of yourself As a new mother, it’s essential to prioritize self-care during the postpartum period. The stress of caring for a newborn can quickly take a toll on your mental and physical health. But it’s crucial to remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish, it’s necessary. It’s a way to refill your cup, so you can be the best version of yourself for your baby. Whether it’s a simple cup of coffee, a trip to the nail salon, or a night out with friends, these small moments of self-care can have a big impact on your overall well-being. I made an effort to schedule in some “ME time,” even if it meant coordinating with family or friends to help with the baby. Remember, you’re not just a mom, you’re also a person with your own needs and desires. Your family and loved ones want you to be happy and healthy, so don’t be afraid to reach out for support. Taking care of yourself will ultimately benefit everyone around you. I started going out for day trips and vacations to overcome it. – New Mom 2 Lean on your village The pressure of caring for a newborn, coupled with physical limitations during postpartum, can take a heavy toll on a mother’s mental health. I found myself in this situation, as I wanted to help my mother who was tirelessly doing all the work, but I was struggling with my own limitations and physical changes. The self-inflicted pressure to keep up with my pre-baby pace added to my stress and eventually led to postpartum depression. However, I soon realized that I was healing, and my body was not letting me down, but rather it was trying to recover from childbirth. This is when my baby sister stepped in to help. Her presence was a true blessing and an all-hands-on-deck situation. The added support was nothing short of a miracle and showcased the importance of having family by your side during this challenging time. At 2 months, my father even flew from India because I wanted him by my side. This emotional support helped me so much during this difficult time. If you’re going through postpartum depression, don’t hesitate to reach out to your family for help and support. They can be an invaluable source of comfort and strength during this time, and having them by your side can make all the difference in your journey towards recovery. I was never shamed by my family for not being able to breastfeed. My husband was a constant support.– New Mom 3 Seek help The cry of a 2-week-old baby, echoing through the night for hours on end, is a distress that no new parent should have to bear. For many months, my family and I struggled with the unrelenting colic of our own baby. We sought answers from our pediatrician, tried countless remedies, and were determined to ease our little one’s discomfort. Despite our

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Baby Items That Are Worth The Money

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The first time I went to Buy Buy Baby was when I was around 15 weeks pregnant. I distinctly remember walking through the aisles beginning with diaper bags, maternity, bottles, pumps and feeding essentials, solids and related items, an entire aisle for baby monitors. Bathing and diapering came next, followed by personal care and so on. Across the store, I spotted a few gliders and rocking chairs.I raced through the store, crossing aisles of toys, cribs, clothing, bedding accessories and what not, only to go and to sit on the them. And took a deep breath! This was only half the store and I hadn’t even checked out the world of car seats, strollers, play pens, swings to name a few. The following couple of days, my husband was curiously busy with his laptop. When I finally asked him what he was up-to, he revealed an excel sheet that he had meticulously complied while keeping it modest – The Baby List. It was categorized into various sections, Nursery, Diaper, Wardrobe, Postpartum etc, and the average price of each item in each category was listed next to it. ( read it as – how much we desire to spend). What was more impressive was the empty column next to it with the heading “Actuals”, to track the actual amount we spent. That moment, I couldn’t have been more sure that I married the right person. It is very easy to get overwhelmed by the abundant choices when buying baby items, also very easy to go overboard and buy every item available or over spend and not to forget, the anxiety of first-time parenting. Right from the beginning our choice has been to try to keep it minimal. I tried my best to be as objective as possible. Off the things we bought, I’ve made a compilation of what we loved, why, and what failed miserably. Also links to most of the products are below. Note: If you are viewing this on your Desktop, please turn off Ad-Blocker to view Amazon Links below. 1. Glider I have been using this since my Third trimester and continue to use it now. While buying a glider for the nursery, you may want to consider a power glider or something that won’t wake your baby up with sudden jarring motions or the loud sound of the glider. Rocking motions in the chair before birth can help comfort your infant after birth. 2. Bassinet/ Crib Co-sleeping makes me quite nervous. A few weeks after V was born, we got a bassinet and we shared the room. Now at 5 months, he sleeps in his crib in the nursery. If co-sleeping works for you, this may not be necessary. We did not buy a playpen, lounger, rocker, or swing. Since we setup the nursery upstairs, for daytime sleeping (which helped him distinguish between day and night) and a change of environment (for my sanity), bassinets were of great help as they were mobile. 3. Bouncer My infant adores this Baby Bjorn Bouncer. He has reflux, so when he was a newborn, he needed to be held upright after feedings. This made it much easier to stay in that reclined position. He now sits in his bouncer with his toys and keeps us company while we have lunch or dinner. The key to acclimating him to the bouncer is by making him sit in it everyday or frequently and help him understand that it is one of the safe spaces for him to be in. 4. Dresser/Changing table I would strongly advise a dresser over a changing table. This way, it doubles as a great place to store your baby’s clothes. Practically speaking, you might not be able to go to the wardrobe and get some clothing if your kid is being changed on the table. You’ll want something your hands can grab while keeping the baby safe.For the lower level, we used a diaper caddy 5. Baby Monitor This can be a good buy even if you intend to co-sleep. When the baby takes one of their zillion naps, you can catch up on that TV show, read a book, or finish your work. Although we had it since he was born, he began using it extensively when he moved to his crib. 6. Sound Machine YES! Nowadays, I find it hard to sleep without white noise. 7. Clothing Let’s address the elephant in the room. I will create a detailed post on this, for now, this should help. 8. Shoes While they are adorable, instead buy fuzzy fleece booties/ socks instead of shoes to keep your baby’s feet warm and dry. 9. Swaddles 10. Toys 11. Bath 12. Nursing/ Feeding I recently came across a portable bottle warmer, which I feel could be a lot more useful for long-distance travel, and even to a mall or a park. We recently started V on solids, and I’ll cover all the details in another blog post. For the time being, all of the nursing necessities are covered in my Breastfeeding blog post. Pro-tips 1. Hat – if they give you one at the hospital, keep it safe. It was so hard to find something that small to fit him. (I ended up making one)2. Mittens/ socks – These are notorious for getting lost. So while washing put them in laundry bags so they all stay in one place. 3. Burp cloth – never too many of them. 4. Have hand sanitizer at you changing station for those times when you can’t immediately go and wash your hands after a diaper change.5. Secondly, Diaper cream applicator. It is mess free. 6. First-aid and personal care items like thermometer, infant tylenol, saline spray, snot remover (not the bulb, too big for baby nostrils), nail trimmer are a must.

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My Breastfeeding journey

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** Disclaimer – Not seeking or giving medical advice. This blog is about my personal journey and learnings along the way. If this could be a triggering subject for you, please discontinue reading. Moments after my baby was born, he was put on my chest for skin-to-skin, and a few Lactation consultants (LC) walked into the labor room to assist us with the first breastfeeding session as per my birth plan. I was nervous! As my due date was nearing, I remember there was a severe formula shortage in the US. I was concerned about whether I would start producing milk or whether my baby would have oral ties. But I was relieved when I saw little drops of yellow colostrum. Next, when the LC said, “the baby has good suction,” I was ecstatic. But my joy and ecstasy lasted less than 48hrs. Ever since I have had a constant love-hate relationship with breastfeeding. While it has been the most magical experience, it has also been the most excruciating. There were days when it filled me with nothing but delight and days when I would want to scream into a pillow. I’m not referring to the initial experience and the questions that arise as a result, such as, Am I doing this right? Is that how it’s intended to look? Should it feel this way, or not? Am I holding correctly? Neither am I referring to cluster feeding. Sleepless nights are challenging, particularly after the body has experienced the stress of childbirth. In fact, I genuinely loved nursing my child. This seemed to be the easy part, the most pleasurable and happy part. I enjoyed the bond! Postpartum recovery and latching problems, were severe, both to the mind and body. I had no supply issues thanks to mommy dearest’s fantastic postpartum diet, which she had rigorously conjured with love. Starting on day 3 of birth, my baby would cry his lungs out when I tried to nurse him. A Nipple shield seemed to help a little amount, but the latching problem we were having persisted. I tried different feeding positions, and pillows, to pump before latching in case of a strong letdown, all in vain. We couldn’t fully understand the cause of his distress and were quickly running out of ideas. As parents, we always want to do what is best for our children. And this entails putting aside your own preferences in favor of what is best for the child. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed, but as a result of the issue we had, my baby started to lose weight beyond the allowable mark. After several frivolous attempts at breastfeeding, I changed my mindset to focus on alternate ways to keep him fed. So I resorted to the next best option: to pump and bottle feed the expressed milk. Fortunately, we had purchased baby bottles, sterilizers, Bottle cleaner, and Bottle soap in advance and had begun using them. (I used the Spectra pump as recommended by my Ob-GYN) Once we started on this route, there were multiple problems and obstacles one after the other A Mini fridge – climbing down the stairs every 2 hours to bring the stored milk was getting hard. This felt like God-sent. Note: This is applicable if the nursery is set up on the upper level. Bottle warmer – hot water was certainly available when we open the tap, but this meant a lot of water being wasted, and it took a lot of time – 5 mins felt like 5 years with a crying baby. I followed a meticulous pumping schedule, at least 4 and up to 7 depending on how many times my baby would successfully latch. At around 3 months, my supply regulated and I took some supplements to keep it up – A lactation bar, oatmeal snack bites, and lactation tea. The freezer stash I had created came to my rescue. Besides, coconut water helped with hydration and rebalancing of electrolytes. Increased calorie and fat intakes, like a handful of nuts and a tsp of ghee a day. Cashews were especially helpful. By this time, I felt ready and also started my postpartum fitness journey. We did not give up on breastfeeding, though. We took breaks, sometimes for a few minutes and sometimes for a couple of days. Gradually, things became much better, and he was willing to take either form. At around 4 months, just when I thought that we were getting comfortable with breastfeeding, hits teething! Ouch! Pro tips:

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